Well, it's been a couple of months since Jelly Bean entered the world, so I figured it's about time I posted her birth story here for all to read.
I'll try not to be too long winded or detailed (what some might call "graphic"), but those who know me know I just love the subject of childbirth and once I get started, it can be hard to get me to stop! I will also try not to get overly sentimental and/or weepy, but no guarantees there, either.
Also, I am going to post pictures, but I will promise not to post anything one might deem "inappropriate," if you all promise to overlook my lack of make-up and/or poise in most of the photos. Deal? Deal!
It was February 26th, four days after my "due date." It was about 9:00 pm and Hubs and I were watching T.V. and I was noticing my stomach contracting in a pretty regular pattern of every 8 or 9 minutes. I was sure it wasn't labor because this had been a nightly ritual for a few weeks: belly contracts, I go on "labor alert," belly contracts again, I wonder if it's really labor, belly contracts yet again, I get all excited, belly contracts some more, get out the phone to call my mom and midwife, belly stops contracting, I get all huffy and annoyed and go to sleep.
Still, I couldn't help the feeling of butterflies that was quickly building in my stomach as the pattern continued. Unable to sleep, I was struck with the urge to do some last minute nesting. I got up and started to clean, figuring the movement might help keep the momentum of my contractions going. Not to mention, if it was "go time" I wanted my room to be nice and tidy for the main event. When the contractions were still coming in rhythm at about midnight, I called my mom to let her know that I thought I might be going into labor, but that I wasn't entirely sure. I told her to keep the phone handy, just in case.
I cleaned and waddled and waited, my contractions getting more intense, but not unmanageably so. Around 12:30 am, I called my mom back, and informed her that I was pretty sure I was in labor and that she should scoot on over so she didn't miss the party.
With our room cleaned and my mom on her way, I hung up the phone and went to our bed to lay down to rest up for the long hours of work ahead of me. Of course, as soon as I did, the contractions seemed to slow down. I started to think I had jumped the gun and made my poor mother get out of bed and venture into the winter cold for merely an early morning social visit. I crossed my fingers that the contractions would continue and waited for my mom.
My mother arrived around 1:00 am. She asked how I was doing and I said that I felt great, and I really did! I was still having contractions, but they still seemed slow and less intense since I had decided to lie down. I thought walking around might help get things going again. I had a feeling, or maybe just hope, that as soon as I got out of bed, the contractions would start ramping up again.
Sure enough, no sooner had I swung my feet over the side of my bed than a huge contraction hit me. I braced myself through the contraction. I felt a rush of excitement! Maybe this was it after all! Through the contractions, my mom and Hubs alternately applied counter-pressure to my lower back while I stood, rocking and swaying my hips.
As things got more intense, I decided to get in the shower. The hot water was amazing! A little side note: a hand-held shower head is AWESOME in labor. I could direct the stream of water wherever I had pain on my belly or back. It would ease the intensity with amazing reliability. Since we were planning a water birth, and I thought birthing in icy cold water might not be pleasant, I reluctantly got out of the shower to conserve the hot water. As soon as I did, the contractions hit me hard. It was about 1:30 am and I told Hubs to dial our midwife, Heather.
Looking back, I'm not sure why I wasn't wholly convinced that I was really in labor, but I didn't want to have our midwife come over if it wasn't "for real." Heather talked to me on the phone and I told her that I was feeling a lot of pressure in pelvis and pain across my abdomen. As we talked, I had to stop and breathe through a strong contraction. She said that, along with where I was feeling pain and pressure, were good indicators that Jelly Bean was in a good position and that labor was progressing well. She said she was coming over and that we could fill up the tub if I wanted to.
Suddenly, it became real.
This was it! We were having a baby! I hung up the phone, and another contraction hit me full force. I told Hubs that we needed to get the tub set up... NOW! He started filling the inflatable tub with water as I paced, taking deep breaths through each contraction.
Once the tub was full, I zealously jumped in. Being in the water was wonderful. My contractions were still steadily coming, but the intensity was cut drastically by the soothing warmth and buoyancy I felt in the water. I was talking and joking in between contractions and generally just having a wonderful time. When a contraction would hit me, I would turn inward and quietly focus. Once it had passed, I would resume chatting excited with my mom and husband.
At about 2:30, during one of those moments of quiet fixation, my midwife and her assistant, Janelle, arrived.
At about 2:50, I entered "the Zone." The pain from the contractions was continuing to increase, but even more so, the pressure I felt was becoming more and more intense. As time passed and labor progressed, the water's soothing effect was not quite as pronounced. Began to rely more and more on the counter-pressure my husband and my mom were applying to my lower back as a means of finding relief. At one point, Hubs was across the room when a strong contraction hit. It was all I could do to quietly exclaim, "Hon!" He rushed to my side, pressing his hand into the small of my back.
At about 3:00 am, Heather said that in the next few contractions my water would probably break and I would be ready to deliver my baby. I didn't have a great handle on the passage of time at that moment, but I thought that there was no way I was that close. It had only been a few hours, right?
I thought back to my first labor experience: I was in the hospital, having a natural labor and was in so much pain. Transition and pushing had been very long and painful the last time around. Most vividly, I recalled my last experience with the transition stage of labor stretching on and on. My midwife had told me over and over that I was almost done, that my baby was almost here. She repeated those words for what seemed like an eternity, trying to keep me calm and focused as that difficult labor dragged on.
Remembering this, I convinced myself that she was only saying this to try to keep my spirits up for the long hours ahead. I just knew that I had much more laboring to do. I
knew there was no way I was anywhere close to having my baby.
At 3:05 am, a real whopper of a contraction hit me. It started to taper off after about a minute, but before I could take a breath, it began to intensify again. It started to wane again only to increase in intensity once more. The contraction lasted almost four minutes. The next contraction was also long and strong. I began to doubt if I could actually do this. I was just about at my limit; I couldn't take hours and hours of the pressure and pain I was experiencing.
There was no more conversation. Heather sat by the birth pool, not talking, but taking deep breaths with me during contractions. Hearing her breathing helped me to focus and breathe through the contractions as they really began to piggy-back on top of one another.
At 3:21 am, I began to feel the intensity increasing exponentially and then, suddenly, I felt a pop and rush of fluid. I whispered, "I think my water just broke." Almost immediately, my body began to push... HARD! I say "my body" because I had no control. I wasn't pushing, it was happening with or without any conscious effort on my part.
The pressure was almost unbearable. I was torn between wanting my baby out now and not wanting to push, increasing that insanely intense pressure. I remember turning to Heather and saying, "I'm scared. What do I do?" She responded, "Relax and do what your body tells you to do."
I took a breath, focusing, relaxing. I listened to my body, and my body said, "PUSH!!!" I pushed only when my body prompted me. Heather never told me to push or coached or counted while I pushed. She let me do what I needed to do, our silent guardian of safety.
Once, in between contractions, I could feel the little baby inside me using her feet to push herself, as if to help me in the process of her birth. I was overwhelmed with emotion and reminded of the goal of holding that sweet baby in my arms. Spurred on by her movements, I refocused on the task at hand.
After a mere 9 minutes of pushing, my little girl slid into Heather's waiting hands. I sat back against the edge of the pool. Heather lifted my little baby in my hands. I brought her to my chest and held her close, awash in a heavenly mixture of sheer bliss and absolute elation.
It took a few moments and a couple of puffs of air before we hear the sweet cry of that tiny baby. She was alert and healthy and perfect. I held her close and Hubs went to wake Ladybug up; she was just down the hall, but she'd slept through the whole thing.
After Jelly Bean was swaddled tightly and I had showered off, our whole family climbed into our bed as Heather continued to make sure all was well with baby and me. We all sat together, a family renewed by this darling little addition, enjoying the calm and comfort and serenity of the moment. Over an hour passed while we bonded and Heather and Janelle cleaned up the pool. Janelle came over to cut the cord (yes, the placenta was still attached, but was wrapped in a waterproof pad and placed in a ziploc bag - how very "hippie" of us, I know) and weigh and measure Jelly Bean. Hubs passed on cutting the cord, so the honor went to my mom.
Before putting Jelly Bean in the scale, Janelle asked if we had any guesses. I said, "Hmmm... 8 pounds, 2 ounces." She replied, "I don't even think she's that big, but we'll see!" Her actual weight? 8 pounds, 2 ounces! Yup. That's right. Mom guessed it right on! Next Janelle measured her length (21.5 inches), then inked up her itty-bitty feet and put her tiny foot prints on paper.
After a few more hours of supervision, Heather and Janelle left, saying they would be checking up on us over the coming days and weeks. My mom said she needed to go get some sleep, but that she would be back to pick up Ladybug for the day so we could get some rest.
And then it was just us, our little family. I felt great: no pain, no discomfort, just wonder and contentment. If you looked around, our home looked the way it had before the whole thing started: no pool, no medical equipment, no real indication of the momentous event that had taken place a few short hours before. The only differences now were the tiny baby sleeping in my arms and the overwhelming feeling of happiness that seemed to permeate every inch of our home.
My labor lasted just about 3 hours (we counted from when I was "pretty sure" I was in labor), start to finish. It was painful and difficult at times, but mostly I look back and recall nothing but joy and peace. Even though there were moments of overwhelming intensity, the atmosphere was calm, free of anxiety and fear.
Having a waterbirth at home was a truly amazing experience. It met, and then exceeded, my every expectation. I can't imagine a more wonderful way to welcome our new baby to our family.
Not only that, but everyday, I get to stand in the spot where I gave birth. I can see it from where I'm sitting now, with tears in my eyes, as silly as it may seem. I feel privileged to be able to visit the spot of her first breath whenever the fancy strikes me, to be reminded daily of the sublime journey we took to get our newest little daughter here. It's a journey I will remember and treasure for the rest of my life.
